Story by "Aimee"

 

I am so thankful that I finally found out what is wrong with me...DID, dissociative disorder...which, by the way, is not rare. It is now believed that as high as 10% of the general population has some level of DID (of which depersonalization is a part)....
 
Thank you to all of you who are posting your stories on this website. It is very helpful to me to learn what your experiences are.
 
I was diagnosed about a year ago, quite by accident. I had been seeing a counselor for PTSD which set in around March 2000 when I almost died from multiple infections (staph, bacterial meningitis, endocarditic, pneumonia...accompanied by strokes).....but, my DID has been affecting me from an abusive childhood....
 
My counselor was working with me and I could not envision my body, my person, in the screen of my mind (with closed eyes)...she then said she suspected that I have DID...of course, I was full of questions and she said that she wanted me to take some DID testing with a psychologist who specializes in DID...I agreed...I also asked her if she knew of any books that could give me any more information...she gave me the book "The Stranger in the Mirror" by Marlene Steinberg, M.D., and Maxine Schnall...
 
I remember that, when walking out to my car after that appt with my counselor, I had a feeling, my very first actual literal feeling of HOPE! that for the very first time in my 53 years of life, I now had an answer, the answer to why I have been so unhappy in my life, and, why I have never been able to fully accomplish all of my interests and talents!
 
I did take the DID testing and it is very clear that I have dissociative disorder. I read The Stranger in the Mirror and it makes everything so much clearer to me. I strongly recommend this book to everyone here. Not only does it include three amazing stories of patients the doctor has worked with, but, self tests you can take, chapters on what dissociation is and is not, and, chapters on recognizing the signs and rating your symptoms...I bought my book from Amazon.com...and, my library also carries it...
 
In reading many of your stories on this website, I hear you expressing a lot of pain and a lot of hopelessness and helplessness. PLEASE....finding that you have dissociative disorder (DID) with its' depersonalization symptoms is your FIRST step to finding some real hope in your life. I, myself, now for the first time, feel hope...and, even though, I still experience the pain from my past, I now can look forward and know that as long as I keep working on myself I will progress...
 
It is important for you to find a counselor who SPECIALIZES in DID. There are not a lot, but, ask around...and, some states have clinics, both inpatient and outpatient, that deal with DID, PTSD, Anxiety Attacks, etc...
 
Please feel free to email me...
 
AiMeE
 
acts2035@yahoo.com



 

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