Story by "Miroslav"
As many of you, I really think that writing this letter will make me feel better.
5 years I have been diagnosed with phobias, anxiety and panic attacks. I
used to be pretty normal child, hyperactive, but OK. Then suddenly
I started psychoanalysis and it revealed no results at all. Lucky for me,
a friend of ours was also psychotherapist, but practicing Cognitive Behavioral
Therapy. Honestly, now, I can say, he saved my life twice, because of deep
depressions I've been in.
Then, because I practiced lucid dreaming for many years, I wanted to find some new way of inducing them. I found Osho's book of some weird meditations and started practicing. After 5 minutes I experienced one of the worst panic attacks ever, and really he was right, world really looks unreal. Like light is dancing on the surface of everything and everything is slightly moving in my peripheral vision.
it looked like world is picture painted and it crashed and started flying
into my eyes. Sometimes it looks like it is raining but there is no rain.
I cannot look at bright lights, my vision is like an old TFT screen, everything
is... oh my... Then, sometimes, sound is killing me. Like a picture (plz
enter in Google composite photography and experience derealization) made
of 1000 of picture and I cannot see the whole, just the some minor detail.
Often, very often, when I am drowsy and sleepy and sleep deprived, I have
illusions, for instance for 0.5seconds I think of road sign as of a
person. Of a wind for a second I can think as of a whispering. Music tends
to break down and I can hear what I wanna hear, or what I expect to
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