Story by "Stan"


My depersonalization came on suddenly after being infected by the Epstein-Barr virus.  The doctors are still uncertain where I contracted it, and it is quite frightening to know that one can get something like this outside of what is considered to be normal infection.  DP set in after about 5 months.  I remember driving to work extremely anxious when I suddenly felt like turning the car around and going home as though there was no real reason for me to be doing anything.  Suddenly, the outside world melted away.  I was in something doing something but I could not explain to myself what.  I hadn't actually forgot I was driving, I just felt like I wasn't.  It was incredibly frightening and somehow I managed to make it through work.  After a night of dealing with the mentally ill I realized I need to be put on medical leave and recently decided to quit my job.  Lexapro has seemed to help the sensations, or at least keep them at a minimum.  I have learned to almost control their activation and am learning to deal with the feeling until the virus is finally out of my system (this can take years sometimes).  At times it's even somewhat exciting, or at least I make it that way to get through it.


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