Story by "Rach"

 


 
I am 29.I have suffered from DP since the age of 13. I have always been academically successful, a straight A student, so when I first got a full blown DP panic attack my life changed. I was so confused about what was going on with me, I could never explain my symptoms to anyone. The 'who am I?' question kept haunting me on and off. School activities helped me to tune out the panic attacks to some degree. Yet the attacks have been part of my growing up years. Thankfully they never lasted for a long time at a stretch until about the age of 21 when I first experienced major depression. This DP just remained with me for 6 months until I was cured of depression. Life became a nightmare waking up only to feel a void engulfing me, thoughts weren't mine anymore, I  was observing every thing I did from outside, even talking was an effort and scary as the words did not seem mine anymore. I felt spaced out all the time. I couldn't see myself in the mirror. I didn't  recognize the face I saw. I was so devastated. I contemplated suicide but never really attempted it. My shrink never seemed to understand the plight I was in. All he told me was it was part of depression that I was going through. Luckily i came out of my depressive episode in 6 months and the DP vanished with it only to return every time I have suffered another depressive attack. Three major ones by now. I feel so dead when I get my DP attack .It hits me even without the depressive attack. But does not last very long as i have found a self help cure for it...divert divert divert my mind. Get busy. I teach French and I am a part time model. I meditate and practice yoga and read self-help books. It helps my mental health. I am not going to just sit around waiting for panic attacks to ruin my life. Yeah I have suffered a lot but I am strong and i want you all to be strong too. Try social service, join an old age home and help the poor and the needy. It will make a huge difference. Only when we help others in distress God will help us face this evil DP.
 


 

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